Punishing children – types and rules
In raising children often can not do without punishment. Everyone does it in his own way, some shout, others use physical force, and still others try to calmly explain to the child what is wrong with that. Not all methods of punishment psychologists consider effective or acceptable. They assure that the child is fully aware of the guilt and tried not to commit any more wrongdoing, he should be punished correctly, without causing any mental or physical harm to his health.
Kinds of punishment and their impact on children
Screams. They are the most common type of punishment. Parents often raise their voices so that the child realizes that he has done something wrong. This method requires caution, it is better to use it in special cases when you need to quickly distract the child from some action, for example, threatening his safety. If the baby will hear shouts every day, he will get used to them and stop responding to them. From everyday situations, try to use conversation or explanations.
Physical punishment of children. Adults beating a child at this moment in his eyes become the worst. In relation to them, the child experiences anger, resentment and frustration. It is difficult for him to understand how a mother who loves him is now showing a different attitude. The child ceases to understand how to continue behaving with his parents and what kind of reaction may follow one or another of his actions. Children who are subject to physical punishment suffer from low self-esteem and self-doubt; they cannot stand up for themselves and go towards the goal.
types of punishments
Physical punishment intimidates the child. The child may stop doing something wrong, but it will not happen because he has realized why it cannot be done, but because he will be afraid of your anger and pain.
Deprivation of good. Parents punish children by depriving them of something pleasant, such as candy, watching cartoons, walking. Such a punishment is more humane than the physical, but it should be used wisely. You should not deprive the child of what he dreamed about or what he waited for a long time. Try to keep the loss in line with the misconduct and deserved.
Scare Perhaps you had to say to the child something like: “If you don’t fall asleep now, a babay will come to you” or “You will behave badly, I will give it to someone else’s uncle”. Children believe in fairy tales and promises. If the promise does not happen, the child will no longer believe you. This method of punishment should be used with caution against children prone to melancholy, because intimidation can cause mental disorders.
Ignore. Such a measure of punishment of children is one of the most painful, especially for kids. For a young child, parents are the most important thing, and if they ignore him, he is under stress, begins to believe that he is bad, feels unnecessary and unloved. It is not necessary to apply such punishment often and for a long time, and when the child fulfills the requirement, caress and kiss him.
Isolation of the child. Often children are put in a corner or taken to a separate room where there is no TV or toys. In this case, the child should be asked to calm down or think about the behavior. Such a punishment must be carried out immediately misdemeanor and not delay – enough for a few minutes. After regret the child and explain for what he was punished.
Self punishment If a child really wants, for example, to try mustard, let me do it, but before that, warn him of the consequences that await him. As a result, the child will believe you and next time will think whether it is worth breaking your bans.
Explanation. This is the most loyal and harmless way of punishment. Before blaming the child, listen to his explanations and try to understand why he did so. Perhaps there was no malicious intent in his act and he wanted to help you. Clearly and clearly explain to the child what he was wrong about and what needs to be done to remedy the situation.
7 rules for punishing children
Punish the child immediately after the offense. Children, especially small ones, have a short memory, so after an hour they may not remember that they were “naughty”. If the mother punishes the child in the evening, for what he did in the morning, the child will not understand what the punishment is about and will consider your actions unfair.
Explain to the child what he is punished for. When the child understands that he is wrong, he will not take offense at you.
Give punishment, commensurate misdemeanor of the child. It should be fair, not too cruel, but not too soft.
Punish the offense and do not go to the person. Expressing disapproval, focus only on specific actions and show your attitude to the child’s act without affecting your personality. For example, do not say: “You are bad,” it is better to say: “You did a bad thing.” The child may decide that something is wrong with him and therefore he is being punished. Such a belief can cause a lot of psychological problems.
Always keep the promise.