Children’s lies or why children lie
Every parent is faced with a children’s lie. Having caught their sincere and honest child in a lie, most adults fall into a stupor. It seems to them that this can become a habit.Up to 4 years old, almost every little one idle about small things, because at this age he still does not realize the difference between good and bad. This behavior is considered one of the components of child development and an indicator of growing intelligence. Tricks and fictions of the child are more logical and mature forms of influence on others, they replace the styles of emotional pressure – tears, hysteria, or begging. With the help of first fictions and fantasies, the child tries to circumvent the prohibitions and restrictions of adults. With age, children have more and more reasons to cheat, and lies are more sophisticated.
False because of fear
In most cases, children lie for fear of being punished. After committing the offense, the child gets a choice – to tell the truth and be punished for his deed or lie and be saved. He chooses the second. At the same time, the child can fully realize that a lie is bad, but because of fear, the statement retreats to the background. In such cases, it is necessary to convey to the child the idea that the punishment follows a lie. Try to explain why it is not good to lie and what the consequences may be. For clarity, you can tell him some instructive story.
Lying a child, the cause of which is fear, indicates a loss of understanding and trust between children and parents. Perhaps your demands on the child are too high or you condemn him when he needs your support, and perhaps the punishments are incommensurable with misconduct.
A lie for self-assertion
The motive for lying may be the child’s desire to assert itself or to raise the status among others in order to look more attractive in their eyes. For example, children can tell friends that they have a cat at home, a beautiful bicycle, a prefix. This kind of lie suggests that the child is not confident in himself, he is experiencing mental discomfort or lack of some things. This reveals the hidden fears of the child, his hopes and even dreams. If a child behaves in this way, do not scold him or laugh, such behavior will not bring results. Try to find out what is bothering the child and how you can help him.
Children’s lies can be provocative. The child deceives parents to attract attention. This happens in families in which adults swear or live separately. With the help of lies, a child expresses loneliness, despair, lack of love and care.
Lie for profit
In this case, the lie can have different directions. For example, a child complains of feeling unwell to stay at home or tells of imaginary achievements so that his parents praise him. He is cheating to achieve what he wants. In the first case, he is trying to manipulate adults. In the second – the parents of the child’s deception are the culprits, who skimp on the praise, approval and expression of feelings towards the baby. Often, such fathers and mothers expect a lot from children, but they are not able to meet the expectations. Then they begin to invent success, if only to earn the tender glance and praise of adults.
Not only children are lying, many adults are not averse to this. Sooner or later, the child will notice it, if you deceive him, and repay you with the same. After all, if adults can be cunning, why can’t he?
It often happens that a child lies for no reason. Lying without motive is a fantasy. The child can tell what he saw in the river crocodile or a good ghost in the room. Such fantasies indicate a child’s imagination and aptitude for creativity. Do not judge children strictly for such fictions. Maintaining the right balance with reality and fantasy is essential. If fictions begin to replace the child with all kinds of activity, it is worth returning him “to the ground” and captivating with real work.
In most cases, the child’s lies indicate a lack of trust and understanding between him and the parents. It is necessary to change the style of communication with the child and eliminate the reasons that make him deceive. Only in this case will the lie disappear or be reduced to a minimum that does not pose a danger. Otherwise, it will take root and cause many problems in the future both to the child and to the people around them.